February’s eBook Now Available: Blowhard

Blow-Hard-CoverThis one really came down to the wire, friends. Then again, February is a short month, and I’d planned on holding off publishing anything myself  so as to not compete with Once Upon a Clockwork Tale, which was originally supposed to release this month. Such are the vagaries of twenty-first century publishing. Ah, well.

I set out this year to publish an eBook every month. So far, so good.

I’ve just released Blowhard, a steampunk retelling of The “Three Little Pigs.” Yes, there are pigs in it. No, the pigs are not the main characters. Yes, a straw house and a house made of sticks get blown down. As for the big, bad, W.O.L.F.E.? I’ll let you download it and figure that part out for yourselves.

A quick note on names

Anthropomorphic farm animals seemed a little too Orwellian for my taste, so our three heroes are humans named Hamm. **Puntastic Rimshot!**

I resisted the urge to have our dastardly villain’s last name be Wulfe, but it is von Rudolph… which is a German name that means “famous wolf.”

Lastly, It wouldn’t be one of my stories without a spunky female character, but this time, she’s the villain’s henchman! (Weren’t expecting that, were you?)  Anyway, if I keep chattering, I’ll give away all the good parts. Who wants that?

Where Can I Get This Awesome Story, Katina?

I’m changing things up a bit as I learn the ropes of this DIY publishing thing. It’s currently only available on Smashwords for FREE. As in “Zero Dollars and Zero Cents.” At the end of March, the price goes up to $.99 and it will be available on Amazon as well. Last month’s eBook, Big Teeth, is now $.99 everywhere (and includes some edits and nicer formatting).

I look at this first month as my “beta version” of these eBooks. I’m giving them away for free, so people can enjoy them. But also so they can let me know about any proofreading, editing or formatting problems. Since these early readers are effectively my “beta readers,” you all get the possibly-imperfect-yet-free version.

Smashwords requires that you set up an account and copy it over to your eReader, because it doesn’t sync wirelessly with Kindles or other devices.  If you’re not terribly tech-savvy, you’ll have to wait till it’s available on Amazon and pony up the $.99. My royalty will be $.35, or exactly enough to buy a cup of coffee down at Butt Drugs.

Speaking of royalties, even with it available free for a month on Smashwords, I’ve earned $3.50 from the sale of Big Teeth on Amazon. Woo hoo! That’s enough for a Red Bull! Right now I’m sitting at 199 downloads of the previously-free beta version. Considering how little promotion I’ve done (read: basically none), I’m pleased with those numbers.

Full Disclosure: at about 8,200 words, it’s not a full novel.  It’s a novelette sneaking up on novella territory. But you’d pay $5 for a latte, and it’s almost a third longer than Big Teeth. So if you think you’d get at least 1/5 the enjoyment of a latte out of  it, or if you enjoyed Big Teeth, that’s a solid value.

At this point, I have a lot more steampunk fairy tales planned:

  • Bad Dreams (based on Sleeping Beauty, and the sequel to Bitter Cold. YAY! MOAR KIT AND GRETA!)*
  • Bête Noire (based on Beauty & the Beast, set in New Orleans)*
  • Bedtime Story (based on The Princess & The Pea)
  • Broken Mirror (based on Snow White)
  • Bed of Ashes (based on Cinderella)

Let me know if you have any suggestions for other fairy tales you’d like to see steampunkified.

In addition to that, I’m working on a very cool space adventure story in answer to a call for submissions. If it doesn’t get accepted there, you can bet your sweet bippy I’ll release it here.

Experienced web wordslinger. Noob steampunk novelist. Stumbling Christ-follower. Bluegrass Hoosier.